For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
