It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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