you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
