your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize