i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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