Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dicks are not precious.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
