You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
