It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
