I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
