you have to choose: penises or morals?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize