Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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