i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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