Your face is a jimmy john
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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