i barfeds in our rink
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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