uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
