If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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