And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
