I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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