How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
