his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
