We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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