I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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