Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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