You made me cry and you don't even care
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
