This show inspires me to have sex in space
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
