So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
