It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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