I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i came on her dog
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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