She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
