he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she told me i tasted like america
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
