What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
