just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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