Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
