you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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