Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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