My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
