i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
