i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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