Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
her vagine was all disorganized.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
