Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize