i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
