Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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