I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Define "chronic" masturbator.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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