Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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