Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We have so much sex to catch up on
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
