i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
