Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
