Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
