hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
