Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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