carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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