You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize