well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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