If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
