I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
