Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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