Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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