Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So much rum. So many feels.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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